STORY
Why Do This??
I have spent my whole life consciously trying to figure out why. Why this happens… Why that’s what’s true… Why I act like this… Why culture decided that… My inner self wasn’t asking why the sky was blue or why the stove turned hot. It’s all interpersonal stuff.
I have always been more interested in the human interactions between and in cultures, all the details about how some behavior came about and the relationships within ourselves. There are all types of personalities, and this is mine.
I have learned that every single one of the combinations of personalities is important, relevant and needed, from the hyper critical and abrasive to the push over wall flower. Each type contributes to the whole in the gaps and ways that end up enriching us all. Can and should we learn how to handle and manage our distinct selves and ways though? Affirmatively yes!
I have never quite openly owned it, who and what I am; I always kept trying to be something else while quietly, even secretly learning the answers to my personal questions. I was somehow under the impression that who and what I was and what I enjoyed was simply less valuable then anything and anyone else.
I also tend to be quite diligent in continuing to learn and search for knowledge and wisdom till I have every single angle of every question handled. It’s irritating to me, tends to use up a lot of lead time and isn’t necessarily quick.
The good part of that is that once I feel like I have learned something or ‘know’ something, I know and can answer most inquiries about said something. Such a way of self teaching takes so much time with little fruition early on, hence there is not a lot of bold confidence from my youth.
Now though, now I feel both more bold and more confident. I feel capable, knowledgeable and on occasion, wise. Could just be a function of age and where I’m at in the the life cycle. I’m still open, searching for more understanding. It’s sometimes hard, but a joyful thing to me. Some people call me a seeker.
I feel about the artistry of words, a similar joy. I love to craft words together to create sounds, sensations and scenes. It’s fun to me. I don’t always do it, but I enjoy it. I’m not talking about grammar-bleh. I’m talking about stories, symbols, meaning, reason, persuasion, attitude, narrative and interests.
Add my love of the written word to my love of learning and it really seems kind of perfect to do a blog. I also have some of those in my inner circle who tend to interact with me by coming to me to have a different perspective, to work something out or to just experience a good story.
I also tend to be accused of being rather positive and happy. Yes, accused. Generally people, I guess, are more neutral or think openly on all the negatives. I don’t think such is false or wrong in theory, just different; like the 2 sides of a coin are both real, one doesn’t negate the reality or truth of the other.
My ways of handling self and life are now starting to interact with the interpretations of whom I have considered experts in my life. It’s an interesting place to be. I figure, if that leveling of those I see as knowledgeable is true, perhaps those in the general public could find benefit of my understandings as well.
On top of that, I want to share. I’m apparently full up enough that it’s spilling over. It seems appropriate that I ought to share what I have and give of what I have been blessed to get. It’s deeper than things, its a way of life, how to deal, what to do, ways to cope and methods to grow. It’s about seeing and knowing yourself and making self into all you’ve always wished.
If its true and you receive something you needed, wonderful. If my thoughts are fruitless to you, no worries. Maybe your thoughts would be useful to me or perhaps your mentoring is elsewhere. It’s all good. Let’s see what happens.
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